Why networking follow-ups fail The follow-up fails on Thursday.

Not on the night. On the night everyone means it. The message dies in the gap between meaning it and having anything specific left to say.

Kai, Founder of CardrUpdated · 5 min read

A Cardr Apple Wallet pass in the intaglio design, its QR code linking to this post

Most follow-ups are not late because of laziness. They are late because the specifics have gone. On the night you could have written something worth reading; by Thursday you have had nine more conversations and all that survives is a name and a job title, which produces a message indistinguishable from a mailshot. The fix is to capture the specifics at the moment, not to try harder later.

What is left by the time you sit down.

It is not that people are rude, and it is not that you are disorganised. It is that the useful parts go first.

“Great to meet you at the event, let me know if I can ever help” contains no evidence that the conversation happened. It could have been sent to everyone in the room, and the recipient assumes it was, because it usually was.

A message that references one specific thing from the conversation does something different. It proves you were listening, which is the actual scarce quality, and it gives the person something to reply to.

Two ways to open

Generic

Could go to everyone in the room.

One specific thing

Proves you were listening.

The trouble is the order things leave in. What you keep longest is what is least useful.

What you could have written with
That eveningYou could write the message now
ThursdayNine conversations later
Next monthWhen the timing detail actually arrives
The problem they described
Still there
Gone fuzzy
Gone
When they said to come back
Still there
Gone
Gone
Something human about them
Still there
Gone
Gone
Who introduced you
Still there
Gone fuzzy
Gone
Their name and company
Still there
Still there
Still there
Not measured data, and not presented as any. This is the argument the page is making, drawn: the details that would make a follow-up worth reading are the first ones to go, and the one that survives is the one you could have read off a name badge.

The only row that survives the month is the one you could have got off a badge. Everything that would have made the message worth reading has gone by Thursday, which is roughly when most people sit down to write it.

You do not need a better memory. You need to write one sentence down while you are still standing there.The specific thing does not have to be profound. The size of the problem they described, the city they are moving to, the thing they said they were dreading. All of it is evidence.

The method, in five steps.

It works with a notebook. Nothing here needs software.

  1. 01

    Write one specific thing down before you walk away

    Not at the end of the night, when the conversations have merged. While you are still standing there, or within a minute of leaving. The problem they described is the whole message you will eventually send.

  2. 02

    Capture the timing, not just the topic

    "After the funding closes", "in the new year", "once they hire someone". Timing tells you when to write, which is usually worth more than what to write.

  3. 03

    Send within 48 hours, and reference the specific thing

    Three or four sentences, short enough to read on a phone in a lift. The specific detail is the whole proof that you were listening, and it is what makes the message answerable.

  4. 04

    Make the ask small, or make no ask at all

    A message with no ask is often the one that gets a reply, because it does not read as the opening of a sales sequence. If you do ask, ask for something that costs them a sentence.

  5. 05

    Set a reminder for the moment they named, and come back once

    This is the step almost nobody takes and where most of the value is. In January, the person who said "come back after Christmas" will have forgotten they said it to anyone. Being the one who came back is often the entire advantage.

Why the second message beats the first.

Almost nobody sends it, and it is where most of the value is.

Send the first message within 48 hours, while they can still place you. After about a week you are reintroducing yourself, which is a much harder message to write and a much easier one to ignore.

The first message

  • 48 hwhile they place you
  • 1 wkand you are reintroducing yourself

Keep it short enough to read on a phone in a lift. Reference the specific thing. Make the ask small or make no ask at all; a message with no ask is often the one that gets answered, because it does not feel like the opening of a sales sequence. Sign it with a link to your card, so they can save you from the email itself: how to add a digital business card to your email signature.

Then, if the timing detail said so, come back at the actual moment. The person who said “come back to me after Christmas” meant it, and in January they will have forgotten they said it to anyone. Being the one who came back is often the entire competitive advantage, and it costs one line in a calendar.

If they named a date

  1. At the eventThey say “after Christmas”
  2. JanuaryThey have forgotten
  3. You writeOne line, on the day

Where a tool helps, and where it does not.

Being straight about this, since we sell one.

No tool makes you interesting, and no tool can invent a specific detail you did not capture. If you take nothing else from this page, take step one; it works with a notebook and a pen.

What a tool does is remove the friction from the two steps that fail most: getting their details at all, and having the context still attached when the moment comes round. Cardr does the first by making the exchange two-way, so a conversation ends with a contact rather than a hope, and the second by holding your note against the name and drafting the message from it later.

What a tool changes

Not the message

It does not make it good.

The friction

Their details, and the context kept.

It does not make the follow-up good. It makes the good version cheap enough that you actually send it, which turns out to be the binding constraint for almost everybody.

Questions, answered.

How long should a follow-up message be?

Short enough to read on a phone without scrolling. Three or four sentences is plenty. Length reads as effort to the writer and as work to the reader.

How soon should I follow up after a networking event?

Within 48 hours, while they can still place you. After about a week you are reintroducing yourself, which is a harder message to write and an easier one to ignore.

What if I genuinely have nothing specific to say?

Then the conversation was probably not one worth following up, and sending a generic message will not change that. Spend the time on the three conversations that were.

Is it worth following up if they never replied the first time?

Once, later, with a genuine reason. Not a bump, not a "just floating this to the top of your inbox". If the timing detail you captured has arrived, that is a real reason and a legitimate second message.

Does Cardr write the follow-up for me?

It drafts one from the note you captured, on the Pro plan, for 200 people a month. You edit and send it. The hard part of a follow-up is starting it from an empty box, and that is the part it removes.

Keep reading

This is part of How to follow up after networking. Every other guide is on the guides index.

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